Dear Dr Hedda, I Can’t Keep a Husband….

Posted on Jul 22 2013 - 2:25pm by Dr Hedda Mae

Dear Dr. Hedda:
I’m starting to doubt myself.  My third marriage just ended.  He left me for another woman.  So did my second husband.  I always thought I was a good. loving, supportive wife.  I cook sometimes, I clean up most of the time.  I am healthy, thin, well educated and quite attractive. I’ve always been able to support myself comfortably.  I have never been a financial burden on any of my husbands. OMG did I just say that.  It sounds like the number of my ex husbands is legion.
What I am doing wrong ?  I encourage long courtships so we can get to know each other.  I have always chosen intelligent successful men.
I’ve been married; 9 years, 11 years and most recently 9 years.  Each one I thought would be forever. 
Is it me, is it the men I choose, should I never marry again (I may be the Bloody  Mary of marriage)?  Help
Alone again
Dear Alone Again
The increase is divorce in this country seems to be paralleling increase in infidelity.  It’s almost easier to get divorced than it is to get married.  No one has to take a blood test to divorce.
I’m not sure what your problem is.  But one obvious symptom is you’re not good at marriage right now.  Maybe there is more for you to learn before you try it again.  And you know you will. Talk to friends and family members, the ones with good marriages, they’ll love to tell you why their marriage works and yours fail.  Hopefully you may learn something.
Also, maybe you should be considering the kind of man you are attracted to.  What qualities they have that appeal to you and then avoid all men like that.
Don’t give up.  We all stumble before we fly.
Dr. Hedda

About the Author

Dr Hedda Mae is a psychotherapist based in Oregon. She has been in private practice in both the clinical and private sectors and has spent many years as a national lecturer on subjects such as family dynamics, childhood and adult personality disorders and multicultural psychiatry. She can be reached at -

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