Dear Dr. Hedda:
I didn’t think this would bother me but it really does. About a year ago I met this guy on line. We chatted for about two months and then finally met. He’s terrific and he thinks I am too. So, what’s the problem you ask, well, he’s 2 inches shorter than I am, 4-5 inches if I wear heels. At first, after we first met I thought about him a lot and most of our time together we where either seated or, later on, laying down. We recently started going out and doing things together like the park, walks, bike rides, dining and the more we do that the more aware I am of our height difference. I’m wearing flats more often. I can’t deny my feelings, it bothers me, what should I do. He’s a special man that I would be a fool to walk away from. Yet if I stay and our relationship grows will I always be thinking about it and only planning sit down social events.
Help me, I am being honest with myself or just plain stupid.
A bit too Tall
Dear Too Tall Bordering on Stupid:
I could lecture you for hours about the insignificance of superficial values like: size, height, hair color, skin color etc… but the reality is they do play a role in our relationships with others but only at the very, very beginning,and ever-so briefly, after that you determine relationships on whom these people are, not how they appear.
One of you is always going to be taller or shorter, and younger and older, and heavier and lighter and so on.
You say you’re getting to know this man and he is just the kind of guy you’ve been looking for.
Don’t find yourself 2 inches short of happiness. You will stop noticing when this when it is a non issue. Don’t bother telling him about unless you decide to break up with him based on his size. And I think you’d be a fool for not giving it a try. Prince Charming looked real good sitting on his horse. And in those days men were much shorter so Prince Charming was probably about 5 foot 4.