Dear Dr Hedda – My Partner Oinks Like a Pig and I’m Not a Farm Girl

Posted on Oct 21 2014 - 11:05am by Dr Hedda Mae

Dear Dr Hedda

Ken and I have been dating for about two years. The past few months it’s gotten pretty serious with talk of a life together, children, marriage etc.

I love him and he’s a good man. We seem to fit together well and our families get along.

So what’s wrong ? Well when we have sex, which I enjoy, and he reaches orgasm he oinks like a pig. Loudly, for several seconds.

It talks all the control I have not to laugh out loud. It’s such a bizarre sound. There are times I avoid sex with him just because of it. I’m afraid I’ll hurt his feelings. It’s not like he’s unaware of it, he’s the one oinking.

I know I must sound petty and immature but I don’t know if I can spend the rest of my life with a man who squeals and oinks every time we have sex.

Should I be flattered or should I run mooing out of the room.

Not a Farm Girl

Dear Not a Farm Girl:

Interesting problem. Have you talked about it ? Is he really aware of the sounds he makes ?
If he’s not aware of it,record it and play it back for him.

It is possible, if you raise his awareness, that he can change it and make a different noise.
You can work together and create a new sound. Make it a couple decision.

A good man is hard too find and you shouldn’t act to quickly about this.

Talk with him, gently, suggest other sounds if you can say it without laughing. You don’t want to hurt his feeling or challenge his masculinity.

If this is your only issue him don’t end the relationship. We are all capable of change if the motivation and reward is present. Also, it could be worse, he could shout out “Mommy” or some other woman’s name.

Dr Hedda

About the Author

Dr Hedda Mae is a psychotherapist based in Oregon. She has been in private practice in both the clinical and private sectors and has spent many years as a national lecturer on subjects such as family dynamics, childhood and adult personality disorders and multicultural psychiatry. She can be reached at -

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