I’ve been noticing a fascinating phenomenon with my individual clients as well as with my groups who are going through various phases of divorce. When I encourage each person to identify positive traits about themselves, and they actually name the traits out loud, it’s almost as if they are beginning to fall in love. The energy shift within them is consistently palpable. Their facial expressions transform from pained and doubtful to flushed and enthusiastic – just like that! Suddenly, there is a little smile developing, rosiness in the cheeks, a sparkle in the eyes. Then, the voice tone changes from forlorn to animated and the conversation begins to explode. Witnessing that transformation is why I absolutely love what I do.
Want some of this love potion? Here’s how to begin:
1. Compose a list of at least 7 positive traits that describe you. These traits can be profound or silly and anything in between. For example, I am honest, I have a great smile, and I make a great omelet. Feel free to exceed 7 traits by as many as you desire.
2. Add at least 3 traits per day to your list, so that you have compiled a list of a minimum of 25 traits by the end of the week. If you came up with more than 7 on the first day, you can adjust the number on the subsequent days accordingly.
3. Keep the list accessible and easily visible, for example, on the nightstand next to your bed. There is tremendous power in the written word.
4. Reread your list frequently, preferably nightly, and definitely before dates or singles events. Read it aloud in front of the mirror. Share it with your Life Coach.
5. As time goes on, continue adding traits to your list as they come to you, so that your list grows on with no limits.
6. Reflect upon how you feel during every step of this exercise. Are you feeling a bit of a love rush? If not, rinse and repeat. If so, go out and show it off.
When we identify positive traits within ourselves, we promote self-love. We begin to know our worth better than we did before, so we make wiser choices of potential partners. We exude greater confidence than we ever did, and this draws dates to us like bees to honey. Confidence is an aphrodisiac, now go out there and cultivate more of it with your list – starting today!
Please feel free to share your lists with me via email, I’d love to read them, and to watch you fall in love with yourself and beyond…
Heidi Krantz is a Professional Life Coach with specialties in Dating, Moving-On, and Communication. She is the founder of Reinvention Life Coaching, a motivational speaker, and a published author. Heidi practices in Long Island and Manhattan as well as via telephone, skype, or facetime anywhere on earth. She offers workshops and seminars throughout the New York area and via teleconference. www.reinventionlifecoaching.com