Below the Belt: Hollywood’s Most Well-Endowed

Posted on May 15 2013 - 7:24pm by Katelyn Connor

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Who are the “biggest” male celebrities? Well, based on some explicit quotes from fellow actors, actresses, and bedmates (as well as some photographic proof), here’s the lineup of the stars with the most below the belt.


Vinny Gaudagnino

In a TMI interview on The Jersey Shore, Snooki eloquently described her hookups with Vinny to be “like putting a watermelon into a pinhole.” Although it sounds more similar to giving birth than hooking up, we get the point.


Michael Fassbender

In his 2012 Golden Globe acceptance speech, George Clooney joked that Michael could play golf with his hands behind his back, after seeing him nude in the movie Shade.

Also in a 2012 Human Rights Campaign, his co-star in Prometheus, Charlize Theron complimented Fassbender saying to him, “Your penis was a revelation. I’m available to work with it any time.”


Steve McQueen

An ex once described the late actor’s endowment as, “two Coors beer cans welded together.” Fans of The Vampire Diaries are hoping this trait was inherited by his grandson, Steven R. McQueen (Jeremy Gilbert).


Willem Dafoe

Director of the movie Antichrist, Lars Von Trier decided Dafoe needed a stunt double during the scene where he cuts off his own penis, saying, “everybody got very confused when they saw it.” This was probably the only case where Defoe’s size was actually an issue.


Daniel Craig

Daniel Craig once revealed to Vanity Fair that his package was what he values most in life. Actress Judi Dench confirms, stating that it’s seriously his “most treasured possession.” And apparently with good reason! During the filming of Casino Royale, Dench came across Craig’s endowment by accident, exclaiming that it was “an absolute monster!”


David Beckham

The phrase “bend it like Beckham” took on a whole new meaning when wife and former Spice Girl, Victoria Beckham described her husband’s package, saying “It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!”

The H&M underwear model clearly does not need any stuffing to fill out his boxers. When the topic came up in an interview, Beckham merely said, “Let’s just say I’ve been told I don’t need any help in that department. I think I’m pretty OK!”

Victoria has really got it lucky!


Owen Wilson

Paparazzi caught some very revealing photos of Wilson in Peru, swimming in an irrigation ditch in just his underwear. Apparently, the photos left little for the imagination and really showed off the apparently enormous size of his endowment!


Liam Neeson
   
When asked about Liam Neeson’s package, former America’s Next Top Model judge Janice Dickinson gave him the award “Biggest Penis of Any Man Alive.” Someone was impressed! And apparently he was very deserving of the award. When asked to describe it, she said, “He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out.” Wow.


Ewan McGregor
  
  The Scottish actor’s package has been revealed time and time again in his famous nude scenes, including from the films Deception, Trainspotting, and The Pillow Book. Although I’m sure no one complained about the pretty incredible view, McGregor says that he’s going to be more selective about when he reveals his gifts in movies from now on since he’s getting older. Definitely disappointing.


Colin Farrell

    Farrell’s endowment has been snubbed from the big screen twice in his acting career, once in 2004’s A Home at the End of the World in a scene that ended up being cut, and again a nude scene cut from Alexander. Apparently, both times he tried to give a full frontal, the scene had been to…um… distracting for the ladies in the audience.

Jared Leto
   
Leto’s ex-girlfriend Corina Taylor once stated that “Jared was the most I ever had to work with.” This is very interesting since Taylor had a three year career in the porn scene. Still, no one beat Leto on size, and Taylor revealed that if he ever wanted a career in XXX movies, he had any job he wanted, hands down.

These candid quotes and photographs speak the truth: these men are not only talented, smart, and handsome, but they are also very blessed below the belt! It definitely gives the ladies a little more to think about next time they see any of these actors on the big screen. The camera definitely doesn’t lie.

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