Have you ever wondered how is it that we are able to fall in love with each other? Maybe it is because we have found the one we have everything in common with, from our jobs, interests, backgrounds, hobbies, even the same favorite color. If you have ever really fallen in love, you know none of that is true. Usually, the people we can’t help but fall for aren’t that similar to us, but why can’t we help it? The YouTube channel, Good Mythical Morning starring the YouTube duo, Rhett and Link, helped answer this question.
Rhett and Link mentioned a psychological experiment, conducted by Dr. Arthur Aron, whose goal was to accelerate the feeling of intimacy in a lab that would support the idea that “the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure,” which is stated by the original authors of this experiment. In other words, when two people share personal thoughts with each other, and respond while being closely attentive, those two people will begin to have intimate feelings towards each other which can lead to feelings of love.
What the experimenters did was have complete strangers spend 90 minutes in a lab answering 36 extremely personal questions and have four minutes of eye contact. The participants ended up being very close with each other, and then months later they got married and invited the experimenters/matchmakers to the wedding.
If you don’t believe that could ever possibly happen, here is an updated version of the experiment. Rhett shared a New York Times article about a woman named Mandy Catron, who also heard of the experiment and decided to have a go at it. She had met a guy from her rock climbing gym, told him about the experiment, and it was actually his idea to try it out. After sharing these intimate experiences, Mandy and her fellow precipitant fell in love.
The next time you believe that you can’t find anyone right for you, ask yourself this: have you even spent enough time with someone? Why not give these questions a try and maybe you’ll find what you are looking for. To hear what Rhett and Link had to say about it, here’s the Good Mythical Morning video. And here is the link to the questions so you could perform this experiment.