1- Listen! We have two ears and one mouth – let’s use them in that ratio
2- Your smile and your eye contact are enormously effective connection builders.
3- Give your date your full attention, no checking your phone, texting, taking calls, or looking through your wallet/purse.
4- Know your worth and what you bring to the table; be aware of all of your wonderful positive qualities so that you project confidence
5- Keep initial conversations light and positive. No detailed discussion of baggage or past relationships and breakups. No complaining.
6- Put maximum effort into every aspect of your appearance, particularly for the first date
7- Be polite and appreciative
8- Laugh easily and naturally
9- Use your date’s first name often
10- Ask open ended questions and listen to the answers with curiosity, not with judgment
11- Hunt for positive qualities in your potential partner, even if it doesn’t seem like a love connection
12- Let your date know what you have honestly observed to be positive about him/her, particularly with regard to character and personality.
13- When internet dating, move from the email, to the phone, to the date rapidly. Cultivate a live relationship, not a pen pal correspondence
14- Enter into an “Evaluation Phase” before rushing directly into a relationship. Take it slowly, you can’t go backwards.
15- Determine a few “Must Have” traits that you are seeking in a partner; lasting traits that would likely endure in five or ten years from now
16- Make a commitment to be flexible with all traits that are not on your “Must Have” list, working to accept your partner as a total package, the way that you would like to be accepted
17- The best way to find a potential partner with the traits that you seek is to “be the person that you are looking for.” Work on possessing all the traits that you seek in a partner
18- Keep your mind wide open. Don’t get stuck only seeking a certain look, a certain age, or a certain category
19- Challenge the “limiting beliefs” that are commonly fed to us by others such as all men/women are___________(various negatives)
20. Tune into your inner wisdom and trust it to guide your choices
Heidi Krantz is a Professional Life Coach with specialties in Dating, Moving-On, and Communication. She is the founder of Reinvention Life Coaching, a motivational speaker, and a published author. Heidi practices in Long Island and Manhattan as well as via telephone, skype, or facetime anywhere on earth. She offers workshops and seminars throughout the New York area and via teleconference. www.reinventionlifecoaching.com