We were always together, we got along great, but after a few years, things started to lag. The spark and the romance died, although we still had fun, but he started spending a lot more time on the internet. When it got to the point of me questioning what was going on, he said nothing and that he was just chatting with his friend. I thought nothing of it, in reality it didn’t really bother me…we are open minded adults and in that logic, relationships should not be a prison sentence.
As time went on, the chatting become obsessive. He would tell me this friend was suicidal, or going through hard times, or whatever the excuse was of the day. I realized things were more intense than they should have been, but figured since they met online, there was no real harm in anything. They were in different cities, there was no sexting or anything like that and he was semi-honest about it and not defensive at all.
Obviously things escalated, he ended up going to pick up some coffee one day, and it took him 3 hours, when I started wondering why a 5 minute activity took 3 hours, I went outside to find him in his car chatting with his new found friend. Weird.
From there, we started seeing each other less frequently and I knew it was over between us and now he is living with his internet friend who he clearly got way to involved with in her city. Which is a good thing so that I don’t have to run into him.
Years earlier, I was in a pretty serious relationship with a guy, who admitted to having a one night stand while away on vacation with his friends. I figured it was still a deal breaker, so I ended it but really what is worse the emotional affair or the physical one.
I am going to go with Emotional affairs are worse….
Ultimately, if you’re in a happy situation ,you don’t seek out attention elsewhere, emotional or physical, you just stick with what you have, but at least physical is just physical, a crime of passion that feels good even if it hurts this “bond” or set of rules we’ve created for ourselves. You see, if I am a blonde and he wants a black girl, I can not bring that to him no matter how hard I try and I can’t control his fantasies and maybe those fantasies get the best of him one night when he meets that black girl… where as an emotional bond is just like a spit in the face…filling some horrible void.