Where Can you Find Orange is the New Black’s REAL Time Hump Chronicles?

Posted on Jun 25 2015 - 5:10pm by Sera Pisani
For those of you who patiently awaited and then binge-watched season 3 of Orange is the New Black, you should be very familiar with Suzanne “Crazy Eyes” Warren’s (Uzo Aduba) erotic space novel, the Time Hump Chronicleswhich dominated a significant portion of this season’s plot. Warren writes the paranormal erotic novel as an exercise for the drama class Berdie (Marsha Blake) has created for the inmates. Warren describes her book in a warm sentiment, “It’s love! It’s two people connecting…. with four other people and aliens.” Berdie however tells Warren, “This piece of writing is obscene. It’s pornographic.”
Nevertheless, bored without a library due to the bed bug incident, the fellow inmates devour Warren’s book as it quickly becomes the hottest item in Litchfield. To give you guys a little recap, here is a small conversation held between Poussey (Samira Wiley), Cindy (Adrienne Moore) and another inmate, discussing the chapters of the book. One inmate approaches Warren by stating,
“I just want you to know, I don’t think there was enough Rodcocker in the last chapter.” But Poussey quickly retorts,
“Yeah that’s ‘cause Edwina left Rodcocker for Gilly.” In response Inmate Number 1 replies,
“Yeah, but he’s coming back right? I mean Gilly’s a wuss, and Rodcocker is a time humper.”
“No, Gilly is the only one that actually loves her. I mean, when Edwina’s with Admiral Rodcocker, he not even fully present ‘cause he also be with other women in other dimensions.” Poussey is quick to recount. But the first inmate again argues,
“Which is why he’s so boss.” Cindy then enters the conversation and offers her opinion,
“I just want to say, I’m also on Team Rodcocker, but I like that dude you introduced in chapter three who was made of Vaseline. Ooh, I don’t know why but that shit was hot… but also tragic.”
Don't worry Poussey, we feel the same way.

Don’t worry Poussey, we feel the same way.

After hearing the fleeting plot snippets and irresistible characters, such as the dreamy Space Admiral Rodcocker, it’s difficult to avoid wanting to hear more. I know I did. So for those of you still anxiously debating the fate of Vaseline Man, just like Cindy, fear not because we have found the real life Time Hump Chronicles. Warren’s plot synopsis of other worldly lovers comes from an apparent inspiration of popular erotic romance author, Trinity Blacio. Blacio is best known for her numerous paranormal erotic novels, including Lovers of the Galaxy and The Virgin Witch and The Vampire King series which hold shocking similarities to Warren’s novel. These thrilling and heart wrenching novels are filled with intense scenes of mulitple partner paranormal love making, extraterrestrial plot twists, and yes, even an Alien King with diphallia (a male with two penises) Sound a little bit familiar? Blacio readers can not get enough of her erotically charged romance plots and cliff hanging narratives, and now Orange is the New Black fans can take part in this cultural phenomenon as well! Download a copy of one of Blacio’s books today and dive into Crazy Eye’s world of alien lovemaking, one woman three supernatural men menage, and yes, two-penis Space Kings.
Click to find the three part series Lovers of the Galaxy:
About the Author

Intern at Riverdale Ave Books. Student at Manhattan College. Studier of human motivation. Currently in a committed and helplessly romantic relationship with words.

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