Are We There Yet? Game of Thrones: Season 5, Episode 3.

Posted on Apr 27 2015 - 6:48pm by Lori Perkins

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I am growing impatient. I know we are getting all the players in place, but this feels like a really long chess game.

In this episode, there are no dragons, but there is some brothel butt, Actually, a lot of brothel butt, as we visit two brothels, which I suppose is there s to remind us that this show is on HBO.

Arya wants to be a “faceless man,” an assassin. But she is told that she has too much personal identify and baggage and that she must let go of who she is, which she does by drowning her clothes and her money and her lucky coin. However, she is unable to bring herself to get rid of Needle, her trusty sword. She hides it in rocks along the shore, so we know she will never be truly faceless.

Meanwhile, Cersei has become the Queen Mother overnight, as her son has become King Tomen the First and Margery is the new Queen, and loving it, especially the part about putting Cersei in her place.

Sansa Stark has a marriage proposal, and it’s not from Peyter, but from Ramsey Bolton, and she is being sent back to Winterfell. When she reminds Littlefinger that they killed her brother (the Red Wedding), he informs her that “There’s no justice in the world, unless we make it. He tells her. “You loved your family. Avenge them.” So off she goes to marry into the family she loathes.

And poor Jon Snow is challenged his fist day as Commander of the Nights Watch. He must behead one of his own night’s watchmen who has refused his direct order, which he does with a certain determination, that is meant to show that he has finally come of age.

The brothel butt scenes involve the Lord High Priest of Sin who was cavorting with prostitutes dressed up as the seven sins, or some such sacrilege, who dragged from the brothel and has been humiliated by the Sparrows and comes to Cersei for revenge. She, of course, sees this as an opportunity to gain some power and makes an allegiance with the High Sparrow, telling him that the only thing worth revering in this land is church and queen, or some version thereof.

Tyrion has not seen a face other than Varys for days and insists that they stop for company, which you know means a trip to a brothel, where we see that women dressed as Deanerys are the most popular purchases (“everyone wants to sleep with a queen,” one working girl explains. But just as it seems that he is about to get some loving, he is jumped by some mercenaries who explain that he is going to meet the queen.

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About the Author

Lori Perkins loves erotic romance so much that she has edited 25 smut-filled anthologies, as well as written a few juicy stories herself. She is the Publisher of Riverdale Avenue Books and an established literary agent, as well as a college professor. She teaches a class on Writing Smut for Fun & Profit and believes that smut will save the world.

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