I managed to watch the season premiere of Season 6 with not one, but two, TrueBlood virgins, which means I spent a good part of the evening explaining and recapping.
This episode was bloody.
We watched as last season’s closing scene showed us Bill reborn as Billith rising from a pool of gelatinous blood, and then Tara, Pam, Jason, Nora, Eric and cute little Sookie all ran like King Kong was chasing them. As the never-very subtle Jason said, it was like Bill was now a naked evil Superman.
Meanwhile, back in Louisiana, due to the shortage of TrueBlood, and the murder of 246 “tax-paying” citizens, Marshal Law has been declared and the obviously sleazy Governor has ordered a vampire curfew after dark and that all vampires businesses be closed.
We learn from Jason, when he’s glamored by Nora, that a vampire named Warlowe killed his parents, and that Warlowe is mentioned in the vampire Bible. Jason has a fight with Sookie over family versus vampires and decides to hitch a ride back home, because he’s not very bright. Turns out he is picked up by Marlow, played by Rutger Hauer!
Back at Bon Temps, Sheriff Andy Bellefleur is a new dad of half-fairy four babies. After a heart-to-heart with Arlene about how scared he is to be a single dad, he decides to face the challenge, but his fairy babies grow fast, and they are three years olds by the next morning!
And poor lovesick Sam has to watch as Luna dies, leaving him to care for werecub Emma, who she has rescued from the vampires. He takes the girl to his restaurant, Merlotte’s, where Lafayette has holed up, and he cooks her up some Southern comfort food while Sam makes him swear he never saw them.
After a rather beautiful vampire night on the beach, Jessica is summoned by Billith. Jessica. Eric and Sookie try to hold her back, but the summoning almost kills her. Sookie drives her back to Bill where they find him on the porch seemingly normal. Sookie stakes him through the heart, and he pulls it out without even flinching. Jessica’s allegiance to her maker makes her kick both Sookie and Eric out of their lives. Bill confesses that he does not know what he is or what he has become, but that he needs Jessica to be there for him.
Eric takes Sookie home, but still owns her house, so he gives Sookie her house back with a document signed in his own blood. Sookie makes sure he means it, by rescinding her invitation for him to ever set foot in her home. Ouch! Nora watches and realizes that Eric loves Sookie.
Bill goes into his study to think things over and he is found by three naked, bloody Lilliths who merge into him.
Tune in next week?
Now, tell me how I explain all that to a room full of TB virgins?