And now the story actually begins.
Jaime Lannister is riding the high seas undercover to Dorne to capture his daughter/niece and when he gets there, the one-armed man has a sword fight that surprises us all.
But the armed and dangerous women of Dorne, the sand snakes, are waiting for him, as the captain of the ship that she has come in on tried to sell information and literally lost his head. This is going to be fun!
Meanwhile, back at King’s Landing, Cersei continues to conspire. She has been winnowing down her “son’s” council, so that she is the only voice and sends Marjorie’s dad off on a mission. She decides she is going to seduce the High Sparrow with power and offers to make him the a new spiritual leader so she gives him an army, who captures all the “sinners,” including Majorie’s very gay brother, King Tommen’s brother-in-law. When Queen Marjorie demands her bother be freed, boy King Tommen is unable to do the job, and is ridiculed by the crowd as “an abomination” and a “bastard.”
Stannis’ beautiful mistress tries to physically seduce Jon Snow into coming with them to Winterfell, but he tells her he took a vow and loved another and just can’t. “You no nothing, Jon Snow,” she says, which we all know is what his dead lover always said to him.
When Littlefinger tells Stansa he is leaving and going back to King’s Landing, she asks what will be come of her? He tells her that he believes Stannis will take Winterfell and she will be the Wardeness of the North as the last surviving Stark. When she asks what will happen if Stannis is defeated, he tells her to make the Bolton boy hers and reminds her that she already knows how to do that as she has learned how to manipulate from the est. And kisses her good-bye on the lips.
Tyrion makes his way to the other queen, Deanerys, as a peace offering from Ser Jorah, who so wants to get back into her good graces. But her graces are not as good as she hoped, people the of Mereen are desperate to bring back their death matches for the masses, at almost any price. The episode ends with a fight to the death between the gold-masked Sons of the Harpy and Deanery’s unsullied. There are no winners.