You Think You Have Problems? True Blood Season 6, Episode 8

Posted on Aug 7 2013 - 9:41am by Lori Perkins

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This was a really fun, deadly episode with slit throats and high heels in the head.

There are some viewers who feel that True Blood has jumped the shark, but there are no sharks in True Blood (at least not right now – maybe next season). Only blood.

When we last left our supernaturals, Eric and Bill were fighting over the death of Nora and how Bill was unable to bring Warlow to save her.  Eric basically called Bill a wimp when he learned that Sookie was in charge of Warlow.  

Billith had asked Sookie to bring him Warlow to save vampire kind and Sookie had told him she’d think about it.  So, when she returns to her faery/vampire lover (who we remember has been loving/chasing her all her life) and asks him to do her this tiny, little favor (after feeding him her blood), he agrees but only if she promises to be his vampire faery bride for eternity.  We see her leaving their cemetery love nest talking to herself about how the men in her life are way too serious too fast.

When she goes to Bill and tells him the deal points, he tells her he doesn’t care.  The future of vampirekind (and her friends) depends on it.

So she seeks out poor Sam Merlotte, who has retuned to Bon Temps after Terry Bellefleur’s suicide.  He’s just reconnected with Nicole and her mom, who were captured and released by the were pack, after the female pack members challenged Alcide to a pack leadership fight for lying to them about Sam and the girls.  Alcide whipped their asses, but decided pack leadership just wasn’t for him, and brought Nicole and her mom back to Sam, who quite unexpectedly proposed to the much younger Nicole (her mom called him “silver fox”).  This is the scene Sookie burst into, pulling Sam into the backroom of Merlotte’s.  She’s so self-absorbed that she can’t see that this is not the moment to confess that she always thought the two of them would end up together.  Sam tells her it’s too late.  He can smell that Nicole is pregnant.

So Sookie can cross that alpha male savior off her list.

Meanwhile, at vamp camp, Jason is learning all about being a slave to a vampire who insists she was once a Catholic and knows the difference between feeding and f@#$ing, and that when she wants to do the second, he’ll be begging for it.  And, knowing Jason, that should be in the next episode.

And Pam has just seduced her shrink, a liaison she described as “oozy, but productive” to an amazed Jessica, so she can be let back into female vampire gen pop and her friends.

Our posse of vampires, who have refused to drink the tainted TrueBlood, are all taken to the circular room that we recognize from Billith’s vision as the place where then will all meet the sun.  This has been arranged by Sarah Newlin, who is now running the show.  She wants to know why they’re not drinking the tainted TrueBlood.

But before she can get her answer, her former lover’s business partner arrives demanding to see the Governor.  First Sarah tires to tell her that he’s left her in charge, and then she tries to get to her with feminist bonding.  When that doesn’t work, she beats her to death with her own leopard heels as her blood drips in to the holding cells of the male vamp gen pop.  Not one to ever miss the chance to get the last word, she exclaims “thank you, Jesus,” as the heel pierces her opponent’s skull.

And after at least two glasses of Southern Comfort, and posing in front of the mirror as she dons her black wedding dress, Sookie decides to give herself to Warlow (with a brief, weird scene at her parents’ grave where she tells them she is going to do the thing they feared most).  She takes Bill to the cemetery love nest where she has left Warlow chained to a gravestone only to find that Eric has already beaten her to the punch, and left Warlow drained and almost dead.

Tune in next week.

About the Author

Lori Perkins loves erotic romance so much that she has edited 25 smut-filled anthologies, as well as written a few juicy stories herself. She is the Publisher of Riverdale Avenue Books and an established literary agent, as well as a college professor. She teaches a class on Writing Smut for Fun & Profit and believes that smut will save the world.

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