Starting off with an overly friendly “Hey Honey!” the note reveals that the girlfriend found out about the infamous “Kelsi,” the girl he was cheating on her with. But, she decided to make this breakup even sweeter by hiding his belongings in various locations. His clothes were where they first met, his videogames where they first kissed, his laptop where they bought their first videogame together, and the TV where they went “all the way.” Everything else she kindly left at Kelsi’s, including all their pictures of their relationship. The note was covered in red hearts and smiley faces, and she even used a pink pen. What a perfect way to say goodbye.
Although this breakup note is for the record books, there are many others just like it.
A couple from the dating website OKCupid had a similar break, but this time it was the guy who very rudely called it off. After three dates, he emailed her saying since they were only 52% compatible, and since Cupid was founded by Harvard math majors, he didn’t think they would get along. On top of that, he goes through all the points about how he has much more energy than she does, and recommends that she moves to another city. She definitely saved face for this one! Who wants to date a jerk like that?
There are even more wide ranging breakups, including a man who responded to an email like this: “I don’t have time for twenty questions by email. I met five girls Saturday night, have already booked a first coffee with three of them, and meet more every time I go dancing.” Another man had a tough time describing his feelings to his girlfriend, so to break it off he sent her a picture of him riding away on a giraffe. Because that explains everything.
However, one of the best breakups has to be when a wife bought a billboard to get her cheating husband’s attention. It said “Do I have your attention now? I know all about her, you dirty, sneaky, immoral, unfaithful, poorly endowed slimeball. Everything’s caught on tape…P.S. I paid for this billboard from OUR joint bank account.”
Although these breakup letters and notes make great stories, it’s always the most tactful to break off a relationship in person. Since everything can go on the internet and can be circulated in a matter of seconds, in order to have privacy for both parties, the best thing to do would be offline and in person. But, if they really deserve it, a billboard breakup is also acceptable.